This is not your normal new year’s resolutions post, especially after all the warm-fuzzy feelings and good-tidings-to-man just a short week ago. I have found myself at the end of 2011, feeling worn out. It’s not just because of the usual holiday parties, shopping and gift giving and cooking. It’s more than just being a SAHM with three lovely kids. I have been trying to “do it all” for too long and now, my spirit is a bit faded, my motivations, gone with the wind.
I know this not uncommon amongst us SAHMs, but I appear to have this bug pretty bad. About a year and a half, maybe more, in my case. I have been volunteering in my children’s school, all three classes, balancing class room learning time with room mom partying time. I attend fundraisers, bake for bake sales and donate more of my time to more school functions than ever before.
Then there’s the chauffeuring from football to scouts to play dates to dance. Juggling family life with blogging life, learning SEO at 2 am, setting up a meal shot in the dark winter hours… you name it, I’m doing it. And I’m tired.
Exercise has been on hold for a couple years. I tell myself, “I will go for a walk after I write a blog post.” Hours later, I am done, and I am behind in my day.
Or it’s the week of volunteering or parties at school that keeps me away from important me-time.
I’ll get my hair cut next week. Six months has now past since my last trim.
I have gift cards for spa treatments that are begging to be used. Some as old as 5 years.
While other moms are doing lunch, I politely decline invitations. I’m too busy, I say, even to celebrate my birthday over lunch with good friends.
When I do eat, it’s fast and quick and whatever is nearby. If it was leftover pasta, so be it. Who cares if it adds to my already rotund buttocks? I tell myself that I do not have time to make myself a healthy meal for lunch.
So my new year’s resolution is rather poignant.
I’m going to be selfish in 2012. I’m going to get that hair cut every 3 months, to keep myself from looking like a frizzy Q-tip for the remainder of the year.
I’m going to exercise FIRST, then deal with the house, the errands and yes, the blog AFTERWARDS.
I’m going to keep healthy foods and snacks around for MY consumption and not worry about the kid-friendly snacks being priority #1.
I’m going to use every one of those damn spa cards I have collected for massages or facials or whatever pampering I need and damn well deserve!
I am going to say ‘no’ more often for school functions, especially if it takes away from my healing time.
Which is what I hope 2012 to be: my healing time. It will be my year to get back on track with my health, my fitness and my psyche.
It will be my year to be rid of the stomach spasms and migraines that plague me.
It will be my year to shed the chubs I’ve gained from spending way too much time behind the computer screen.
I hope to chronicle my health journey here. I don’t need a food counselor. I know what I should be eating and fixing for myself. I don’t need a personal trainer. I know the moves that make me strong and lean.
I just need the motivation and the will power to not succumb to “Mommy-Guilt.” That taking this time for me is taking time away from my kids.
Of course, that means a big no-no to this creamy and delicious appetizer: Pears and Camembert with Balsamic-Honey Glaze. It’s a quick and amazing appetizer to serve for your New Year’s Bash this weekend.
And then, start your selfish diet regime the NEXT day!
What are your resolutions for 2012?